The Height of Walls
by Pierrot twixt Columbine
Summary: SakuLee. While recovering from his injuries, Neiji learns more about Lee than he ever wanted to know. MASSIVE SPOILERS for the manga up to chap. 180. You have been warned.


Title: The Height of Walls

Pairing: SakuLee

Rating: G

Spoilers: MASSIVE spoilers for the manga up to chap. 180

            The phantom scent of flowers draws him out from the haze of pain, where delirious blurs of colors shift in and out of his field of vision.  There, in the faraway distance that was only an arm's reach away, he thinks he sees a cloud of pink cotton candy.  It would be sweet, he knows, if he puts it on his tongue and lets the sugar dissolve down his throat as he had done ages ago when his father had taken him to the village festivals.  The memories were too old, and he had been too young.  He remembers only the sweet, melting sugar, the scent of flowers dissolving in water, and frantic colors of strange goods traded from afar.

            Still, he wants it all back, so he reaches for it and tries to grasp the soft dream in his own hands.  His muscles scream in protest.  Pain breaks the floor beneath his feet and he falls back into the haze, his throat dry with the taste of spun sugar.

*-*-*

            The smell was still there when he opened his eyes, but the cotton candy was gone.  Neiji turned his head towards the smell and was disappointed to see only a flower in a vase.

            "You're finally awake.  How are you feeling?"  Lee was sitting on a bed next to him, peeling an orange and looking unreasonably cheerful.

            "This is…the hospital," Neiji mumbled.  His mouth felt like it had been stuffed full of cobwebs.

            "Yes.  It's a little crowded in here, but it can't be helped," Lee said, gesturing to the two beds.  The room was obviously designed for just one person.  With two beds, there was barely enough room to walk around.  Not that Neiji would be walking around anytime soon.  "A lot of things happened after your match.  The hospital is overcrowded, so they're doubling up all the rooms.  I'll tell you more about it later, when you get better."

            Neiji made a noncommittal sound and turned his head towards the window.  It would probably take at least a week for him to be well enough to walk again.  In the meantime, he was bedridden, and knowing Lee, that probably meant listening to hours and hours of inspirational speeches and-

            "You want an orange?"  Lee asked, offering him half of the peeled orange.

            "No," said Neiji.  The room arrangement was already starting to annoy him.  They had obviously assumed that being teammates, Neiji and Lee would get along well enough to share a room. 

            And it was not that that was particularly untrue.  He did not hate Lee.  He did not like him either.  Lee was just the third member of his team, one more person to be aware of during a mission.  But it was uncomfortable to be with him now, like this, bedridden and injured rather than on a mission.  He had no commands to give, no plans to work out.  He had nothing to say to Lee.

            "Gai-sensei says citrus has vitamin C in it, and vitamin C is essential for the immune system.  If you want to get better quickly, Neiji, you must eat oranges," said Lee gravely, shoving the orange half into his face again.

            He knew that look.  Once Lee had that look on his face, there was no arguing with him.  Neiji took the orange half.  "You're such a nuisance."

            Lee grinned at him.  "I want you to get your full strength back soon, Neiji.  Only then can I beat you into the ground."

            "_You?_" Neiji demanded savagely.  "You?  Beat me into the ground?  I'm not injured as badly as you think."

            "It has nothing to do with your injury," Lee protested.  "It has to do with my skills.  You'll see.  I'll get better soon and show you how much I've improved."

            Lee finished the orange and plucked another from the basket on his bed.  Neiji watched him peel the orange.  "How many oranges have you eaten this morning, Lee?"

            Lee shrugged and tilted his head to the side, mentally counting.  "I think this one makes 82."

            The floor beside Lee's bed was a carpet of orange peels and seeds.  Lee finished the orange and said, "If told myself if I can't eat 100 oranges today, I'd have to do 100 laps around the hospital, hopping one-legged."

            Of course.  It made perfect sense.

            He wanted a room change.  Preferably someone in a coma.  Someone who wasn't quite so noisy, someone who'd nurse their wound in the dark like an injured animal, someone less like Lee.  And less like _that guy_.

*-*-*

            "It's here again."

            "What is?"  asked Neiji, more out of habit than out of curiosity.  

            "This flower," Lee said, staring at the little flower in the vase by his bed.  "Someone keeps coming in here to change it, but I can never figure out who."

            "Maybe the nurse."

            "I don't think that's part of their duty," Lee murmured.

            "Maybe it's a fairy," Neiji said offhandedly.  Sure.  A sugar fairy that melts into the morning dew when you reach out for it.

            Lee said nothing, only stared at him intently.  "A fairy…"

            "I was kidding, Lee."

            "You never kid."

            Neiji had to admit that Lee had a point there.

*-*-*

            "Are you training with Gai-sensei again?"  Neiji asked when he saw Lee get ready to go outside.

            Lee colored slightly and shook his head.  Neiji knew, without having to ask, that it had to do with a girl.  And since it was Lee, that meant it was that Sakura girl.  Lee was so painfully transparent.

            "I'm um…just going out for a walk…with Sakura-san."

            "A date?"

            Lee turned a deeper shade of red.  His eyes bulged out even more than normal, "It's nothing like that!  It's just a walk…with…Sakura…san."

            "Oh."  Neiji was ready to end the conversation there, but of course relief would not come that easily.  Whatever supernatural forces that governed the world existed out there, it was making full use of the fact that Neiji's legs were not of use at the moment.  

            "You see, we're just friends," Lee babbled, explaining profusely that he and the Sakura girl were friends, _just_ friends you see, even though Neiji's eyes knew that _just_ friends was something dictated by Sakura rather than Lee.  "Even though I admire Sakura-san very much, I know she's got someone else in mind.  However, I will still strive to protect her with my life and be the best man that I can possibly be for her sake, without wanting anything in return.  So you see this walk is just a walk, even if it makes me very happy to be able to walk with Sakura-san on a day when the sun is shining so brightly and…."

            There were moments when Neiji wondered why, in his fight with Naruto, he had broken so many bones in his body that he could not walk for two weeks, sustained so much internal damage that even now breathing was a painful affair, and used up so much chakra that he would not be able to perform any useful attacks for at least another week-and yet his ears were _perfectly fine_.

            "…therefore you see, I'm happy just to be at her side, to protect her when she's in trouble and offer her my assistance in any way possible, but that doesn't mean I have any ulterior motives, even if I admit I do like Sakura-san very…"

            He had come to the conclusion that it was no accident.  It was all part of Uzumaki Naruto's plan for revenge.  The damned boy had even gotten the hospital staff involved.  Neiji was surrounded on all sides.

            "…so anyway, in conclusion…"

            "If you like her, just tell her," Neiji said.  _Tell her and leave me the hell alone._

            "What?"  Lee's face, which had just started to fade color, was starting to get red again.

            Quickly, Neiji thought of a plan to divert disaster.  "Listen up, Lee!  Be a man and tell Sakura you love her.  If you can't call her Sakura-chan by the end of today, you'll have to eat 300 oranges."

            "Yes sir!"  Lee said, falling into his automatic salute.  He grinned, flashed Neiji the thumbs up sign, and ran out of the room.

            Neiji sighed.  Perhaps he should start tonguing his tranquilizers and save them for when Lee started talking.  He could endure the physical pain.  Yes.  That was a good plan.  With the new plan in mind, he fell asleep.

*-*-*

            "Be careful, please.  We don't want to move him too suddenly."  Voices carried him out of sleep.  Two nurses and a doctor were huddled around Lee's bed, murmuring quietly.

            "What's wrong?"  Neiji asked.  Had they been attacked again?  Lee had told him earlier of the attack on Konoha and the death of the Third Hokage.  The news had been unconceivable, and it was inconceivable to him that the enemy would launch another attack so soon, but so many inconceivable things had happened that Neiji had almost grown to expect it.  "Did Lee get attacked?  Are we being attacked again?"

            Neiji cursed his useless body.  To be bedridden at a critical time like this!

            The doctor turned to him and sighed deeply.  "No, young man, it's nothing like that.  However, I'm afraid your roommate will have to stay in bed for quite a while.'

            "What's wrong with him?"

            "He's quite ill.  We had to pump his stomach earlier today.  For some bizarre reason, he's been eating oranges nonstop.  We had to tranquilize him to get him away from the oranges and pump his stomach."

            "I…see…"

            The doctor shrugged and turned back to Lee.  "Young people these days…"

*-*-*

            Again the cotton candy, pink and sweet as childhood memories, as Sakura petals in the winter sunlight.  Except cotton candy melts in sunlight, doesn't it?  But this cotton candy was not-it was…it was…like Sakura petals…

            "So it's you," Neiji said, not quite awake but far from still dreaming.  "You're the one putting the flowers there."

            Sakura whirled around, surprised.  "You scared me!  But yes…I keep missing him when I come to visit."

            "He's out training with Gai-sensei," Neiji murmured, unable to put much enthusiasm into his voice.  So it had been Sakura all along.  No cotton candy.  Certainly no fairies.

            "Oh," said Sakura softly.  She sat down on Lee's bed and folded her hands into her lap.

            Neiji felt disaster strike again.  It was his curse.  His eyes could see the dangers, but his legs could not move.  It was like all his childhood nightmares come to life.

            "Neiji-san…what do you think…of Lee-san?"  Sakura looked at him expectantly.  There was no escape.

            "It doesn't matter what I think of him," Neiji said tersely.  "What matters is what _you_ think of him."

            Sakura said nothing, only looked at her hands.  In that instance, Neiji saw everything.

            "Of course, the problem is that you _don't_ think of him, right?"  Sakura looked at him without saying anything.  He already knew the answer.  "Like everyone else you're in love with the prodigy boy.  Lee is just a stop along the way.  His flower is the second flower you choose, after you chose one for Sasuke.  Lee's just an afterthought."

            "I want to return his feelings, I do.  I understand how it feels…to be an afterthought.  It's just that I can't.  I don't."  She sighed, returned her eyes to her hands again.  "Am I a terrible person for being this way?"

            "Probably."

            It was obviously not the answer she was expecting.  Indignant anger flashed once in her eyes, then succumbed to self-pity again.  "What should I do?"

            "Stay," said Neiji.  "Or leave.  Whichever you choose, do one and not the other.  Don't linger.  You're not a fairy you know."

            "What does that mean?"

            "Who knows?"

            "You're a good friend, Neiji-san," said Sakura.  "I never thought well of you before, but you're a good friend to Lee-san.  I'm glad he's got a friend like you."

            It was an annoying thing to say and Neiji bristled against it.  He was not really Lee's friend.  He was just trapped in that position.  In a few more days, he would be well enough to walk again and then Lee could get himself into whatever stupid emotional trap he pleased and it would be none of Neiji's business.  He hated people like Lee.  How was it that they could not see the obvious?  Why did they insist in walking into the most elementary of traps?

            "You'll never love him, will you?"  Neiji asked.  He did not know why it made him so sad and angry to know this fact.

            "Probably not."

            Love was an even higher wall than destiny.  This was a fact that Neiji knew could never be refuted.  Even people like Naruto and Lee would never be able to change love, no matter how hard they tried or how persistently they stuck with it.  Love was cotton candy on the tongue, sweet in its first moments and then gone forever.

*-*-*

            "Come out," Neiji said.  "I know you're there."

            Lee wandered out from his hiding place in the bushes sheepishly.  "You're healing faster than I expected.  But then again, I should expect that sort of thing from you."

            "Yes, well…" Neiji shrugged.  "I had good incentive to heal quickly."

            "I knew those oranges helped!"  Lee cried.

            "That…wasn't what I meant," Neiji muttered.  His eyes picked up a quickening of Lee's pulse, a nervous hesitation in his breathing, jerkiness in the movement of his eyes.  "Something's wrong and you've come to ask for my help."

            Lee stared at him.  "Your vision is back to 100% as well."

            "Is it something to do with Sakura?"

            "Yes," said Lee slowly.  "Sasuke has gone missing.  Rumors are he's left the village and are with the sound nins."

            "Isn't that a good thing for you?  Sasuke's out of the way now."

            "Yes, it's a good opportunity for me.  But…"  Lee smiled sadly.  "Sakura-san is sad."

            "She'll get over it."

            "I don't think she will, Neiji.  Shikamaru has been assigned to get Sasuke back.  He's going around gathering as many genins as he can for the assignment.  I'm not fully healed yet, so I can't go.  I was wondering if you could go in my stead."

            Before Lee realized what was happening or had time to react, Neiji pulled his hand back into a fist and clipped the other boy neatly on the jaw.  Lee fell a step backwards from the impact, eyes wide with dumb surprise.  Neiji had not felt anything break, but he was prepared to keep trying.

            "Wait!" Lee cried.  "What?  What did I do?"

            "You said that when I healed, we would have a fight, didn't you?"  Neiji demanded.  He could feel the blood rushing in his ears.  Go get Sasuke back in his stead?  Neiji had always known that there was no limit to Lee's stupidity, but even this was a bit too much.

            "Now is hardly the time for that," Lee protested.  "Shikamaru will be here soon."

            "I don't care about that."

            "If I win, will you promise to get Sasuke back?"

            "You can't win with that body."

            But before Neiji even had time to finish the sentence, Lee had already gotten into his battle stance.  Seeing it-no, seeing Lee like that-made Neiji mad in a way that he could neither explain nor define.  It was the blood-boiling anger that he had felt when he fought Naruto.  It was the outrage he felt at their blind faith in what was obviously the wrong path.

            "Don't you see how stupid you are, Lee?  You're asking me to retrieve your rival so he and the woman you love can live happily ever after.  Where does that leave you?  Do you know what you're doing?  Trying to be noble for a girl like that-is it worth it?  You're so dumb I just want to beat the stupidity out of you!"

            "It doesn't matter if she's not living happily with me, so long as she's living happily," said Lee calmly.

            "Saying stuff like that…that's exactly what I can't stand about you!"

            He attacked.  Lee tried to dodge, and if he had been at full strength and full speed, Neiji had no doubt that Lee would have been able to dodge his attacks.  But Lee was still injured, and Neiji's kicks and punches all connected perfectly.  There was no challenge in it.  It was like beating a sack of wet sand.

            "Go home, Lee."  Neiji said, disgusted.  Lee was on his knees in the dirt, nursing a kick to the stomach.

            "I can't," Lee said.  

            "Go home!"

            "Before coming here today…I told myself I'd get you to go in my place, or else I'd have to eat 500 oranges.  I can't eat anymore oranges, Neiji."

            "You…stupid idiot!"

            Lee struggled to his feet, his eyes filled with the same determination he had seen in Lee's battle with Gaara.  Neiji knew that look.  There was no stopping Lee when he had that look in his eyes.

            "And long ago, I also made a promise to myself.  I told myself that if I could not become a man that Sakura-chan could love, then I'd dedicate my life to protecting the man she loved.  That's why I'm still trying to get better, to become a man worthy of her love.  But until I become that man, I have to protect Sasuke-kun…because he's saving my spot for me."

            "You are so…" Neiji could not find a word to finish the sentence with.  Stupid did not seem to be adequate.  

            He did not know what it was about Sakura that made both Lee and Naruto so crazy for her.  He didn't even know if a person like her was worth it.  He had a feeling that for his own sake, it would be better if he never found out.

            "Go home, Lee."

*-*-*

            When Shikamaru came to the forest, Neiji was already packed and ready.  

            "Did you already know I was coming?"  Shikamaru asked, surprised.  "Can you read the future or something?"  

            "Something like that," Neiji answered tersely.

            "You know, I was kind of worried that you'd refuse to come.  This mission would be a lot harder without you along."

            Neiji nodded, but said nothing.

            "I didn't think of you as the type of guy to do this sort of thing," Shikamaru said.  The boy's perceptions were sharper than Neiji had realized.  "Someone made you change your mind?"

            "I just wanted to find something out for myself," Neiji answered.

            "What's that?"

            "The height of walls."

[1] The _that guy_ he's talking about is Naruto.  Watching too much subbed shounen anime has messed up my speech patterns.

Edited: To put in fic info, and also to fix the formatting since ffnet ate all my ellipses when it was in .doc format.  *seethes*


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